Almost every day of our lives involves asking someone for something.  Whether it’s asking the clerk at the grocery store where an item is, getting a refund back on a purchase we made, asking our children to be helpful, our co-workers to cooperate, or our spouse to be on time; we spend a great deal of time asking others for something we want.

Getting what we want from other people isn’t just about being nice, although that is surely a component. The key to getting what you want from other people is not what you’re asking them for it is the energy behind what you’re asking for. How are you feeling when you’re making the request? Not just feeling in regards to the person across from you, but feeling in general. What you’re feeling, you’re projecting on an energetic level as well as an obvious one.  What you’re feeling will determine what you experience. Hasn’t your life shown you that you rarely get what you want when you’re feeling bad, as in grumpy, angry, etc.? You won’t feel good to others.

You have the most power on an energetic level, which you emit with your thoughts and feelings. Make it count towards getting you what you want by being deliberate in your practice of asking for what you want. Feel good first.

I’ve been practicing this for a long time but I am occasionally lazy and don’t do the emotional work before I make requests to others. I recently went to the carpet store to ask the person I had been working with for a refund of some kind. I walked in there in a bad mood not remotely paying attention to the fact that I was probably not going to get what I wanted. I was right, I didn’t. Before I even opened my mouth I knew she could feel my energy and it went downhill from there. An observer may not have noticed anything out of the ordinary, but I sure did. The energy did not feel good to either of us. The mistake I made for myself what not taking the time to get into a better feeling place before I walked in the store. I didn’t help her want to give me what I asked for.

Awareness of what has been a pattern in your experience is key to making a change. Is there a day here and there, where you don’t get what you want from others because you’re in a bad mood, or is this a recurring pattern that happens often? Resist the temptation to look back and dwell on what’s been, unless you are in the habit of getting what you want often. Dwell only on what feels good. If your past experience has been less than ideal as far as getting what you want from others, you can start a deliberate intention right now.

Set yourself up for success before you get to the point of asking anyone for anything. How? Take a deep breath and intend that you will get what you’re asking for. Do whatever it takes to get in a good mood and feel as good as you can before you do any asking. You can’t act happy and not feel happy. You won’t fool anyone. Help people want to give you what you’re asking for because it feels good to be in your presence. A simple exercise: if you were across from you right now, would you want to give you what you’re asking for?

Make it a practice to feel good before you ever make a request.  Know you deserve what you’re asking for and expect to get it.  Don’t make a judgment regarding what you are asking for, as others will respond more to the energy behind it. In review, these three steps will help this process:

1. Feel good before you ask for anything.

2. Expect to get what you’re asking for.

3. Be appreciative so you’re open to receive more of what you want.

Life is more fun when we feel good and it feels good to get what we want. Make it a fun practice in feeling so good that other people can’t wait to give you what you have asked them for.


Please share your thoughts.



© 2015.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.


© 2016. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.