I believe that any person who has experienced relationships has the potential to be a relationship expert. It is our life experience that makes this so. Whether it is between yourself and a lover, the people you work with, family, friends, deep relationships or casual ones, it is in every moment of these relationships that we have a choice on how we see another person and how we behave.
It took me many years of navigating through my youth and behaving in certain ways with my relationships that didn’t feel good; to get to the point of feeling like I was the person I wanted to be in these relationships. Life is ever evolving, as am I, therefore the work is never complete, but I do feel like I am on my way to mastering the art of relationships. It is within the choices I make every day and in every moment with others, that shows me if I am moving in the direction of this or not. Practice and a deliberate choice, is key.
Do you have the quality of relationships that you want? Are some relationships better than others and why?
Your relationships are generally shaped by whatever habits you have going within these relationships. We can become accustomed to a certain way of reacting to another person, based on how we see them treating us. We may be reacting to how the kids are behaving, or find ourselves behaving a certain way to a spouse. Sound familiar? Habits that don’t feel good will never serve you.
Each of your relationships is unique as are the people you have them with. You may have a myriad of relationships but you have the ability to practice one way of being that will positively affect all of your relationships. You have probably noticed that others aren’t the ones that we have the capacity to change; it must always begin with ourselves.
Here are ten tips that can enhance your relationships.
- Leave the reacting to others. When you are tempted to react in a negative way, just don’t. You don’t have to. Take a deep breath and choose what you want to say. When you are reactive, unwanted words have the ability of coming out. Have you noticed?
- Become the observer during conflict. Instead of becoming immersed in the drama, which can make you reactive, imagine yourself across the room from what is occurring. As you observe, decide if the person (you) is being who you want to be in that moment. You can make a new choice.
- Make the relationship your priority. The overall relationship with this person is more important than any less than good feeling moments that are occurring. What you say in an instant can damage what you’ve spent valuable time creating. Stay present to what is truly important to you.
- Find ways to make the other person “right.” It goes a long way when you tell someone you feel they are right about something. Even if it appears to be an insignificant subject or thing.
- Be clear on your intentions. Intention is a powerful energy. Are you intending that this relationship feel good? That it empowers you and them? Use the power of your intention to get the momentum going in the direction of having the best relationship possible.
- Do what feels best. How you feel is your indicator for how any relationship serves you. Behave in ways that feel the best in your relationships. Every time.
- Be diligent in your positive thoughts. What you’re thinking regarding another is the energy they’re receiving. Know this. You can’t have a good relationship when you’re thinking negative thoughts about someone. Keep it positive.
- Keep your sense of humor. You may have heard this many times before, but it is really important. Situations often appear more serious than they need to be. Be willing to have a more easeful attitude with all the aspects of your relationship.
- Practice, Practice, Practice. Remember that each moment in our relationships counts. Use every moment as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself regardless of what you are observing in another.
- What would love do now? Imagine what your relationships have the potential of being when you ask this question during happy times, during conflict and every moment in between. Asking this question can help you make your highest choice.
Our relationships offer us amazing opportunities for growth, love, expansion, etc. Use each relationship in your life as a platform for becoming exactly who you want to be.
Please feel free to comment.
© 2016. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.